Introvert versus Extrovert

I've been reading this book called 'Raising Your Spirited Child' to help me with lil J's energetic personality! The book has been awesome because it describes my wild child perfectly. Interestingly, it has also helped me understand me and how I respond as a parent as well. One of the most intriguing parts for me has been describing where we get our energy.
Here are the lists ... Read through and mark off which ones describe you!

-want to talk with someone at the end of a busy day
-have an immediate answer for a question
-want to invite friends over on a Friday night
-are comfortable repeating something already said by someone else
-need and like to hear that others love you and like your work
-start to invite a few friends for dinner and realize you've invited the entire neighborhood
-find yourself telling introverts to get out of their room and call some friends
-solve problems by talking through the solutions with someone
-feel comfortably initiating a conversation
-call for the babysitter
-are comfortable revealing personal things about yourself
-frequently leave parties chastising yourself for talking too much and not listening
-enjoy and need to interact with other people and feel exhausted when you have spent too much time alone or only with young children
-immediately share a new idea or experience with someone and find joy and energy in the telling


-sit down with the newspaper or zone out in front of the television after a hard day
-will do anything, even clean the toilets, if someone else will agree to call the sitter
-can't imagine wanting to invite a group over on Friday night
-find being in a large group for an extended period of time exhausting
-share personal information only with those who are very close to you. It may not be unusual for a long-term friend to exclaim, 'I never knew that about you!'
-think before answering a question, often berating yourself for not sharing an answer you knew
-frequently have extroverts ask you the same question twice because thy interpret your pause to think as ignorance of the question
-prefer dinner with the family or one special friend, rather than with the whole neighborhood
-find yourself hiding in the bathroom or back bedroom at large family gatherings
-solve a problem by thinking it through yourself before ever talking about it with anyone else
-get tired of telling extroverts what a wonderful job they're doing or how much you love and appreciate them

Now count up your totals in each group. The top group is extrovert and the bottom is introvert (if you didn't get that lol).

Okay so my hubby is (obviously) an introvert! I ALWAYS thought I was too; however, after reading the criteria I actually have more extrovert tendencies. It's like 5 to 4 :) so I seem to be both in a sense but more extrovert. Everyone is unique in how they refill their energy supply, of course. But without ever really exploring this in depth I just assumed I need alone time. Now with lil J depleting my energy very quickly I have realized time alone isn't refueling my tank. I appear to gain energy from
outside sources. I love to share stories with others, hear about others experiences, talk through my problems to come up with a solution, invite others over, talk to others at the end of a busy day, and I definitely need and like to hear that others love me and like my work. I realize as soon as I am comfortable with others I become a kind of motor mouth. I tend to need time to warm up to new experiences, which has led others and me to believe that I am an introvert. However, this is just not true. I am 'slow to adapt' but still definitely an extrovert. I think this is why I am also such a great listener. I love to gain energy from others so hearing someone tell me stories or discuss something with me still fuels my tank!!! But I have to have others around to do that. I just can't sit at home all day everyday and feel happy/filled. I love how I feel after interacting with others. I get revived and definitely feel energetic. Honestly, I don't know why I never noticed or realize this before. It seems a little silly now that I look back and think about times I am happy or enjoying myself. People are ALWAYS part of the equation. I am excited to finally realize this and hope to find some ways to adapt so that I can refuel my tank daily.

You thought I was done, right?! Nope!

Now for the frustrating acknowledgement...

My sweet, wild lil J is 100% her father's daughter. She is also an introvert from what I can tell. :/ She needs down/alone time. Despite all her energy, she gets overwhelmed with lots of activities or people around. I will be diligently watching to see if this is from her spirited traits like being slow to adapt or keenly aware of sensations (noise, light, smells, textures, and changes in moods). I'm hoping that no matter what is causing it, we will be able to adapt together (and quickly... for both our sanity!)

Until next time... Progression not perfection is our goal!

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My brain is like the energizer bunny...

it keeps going and going and going... I have so much on my mind.  I haven't been able to really sit and process much, having a 17 month old really puts a cramp in relaxation/thinking time.  If you read my last post you know I am close to graduating!!! I have done a lot of soul searching during my graduate program.  I have learned lots about me some good, some bad, some I want to change, some I don't know how to, and some just make me laugh.  I am very introvert (most people that know me, know this of course) but this introvertedness has also created a lot of struggles for me.  I have difficulty with social situations because I don't have confidence in asking the right questions.  I think to much about how others are affected by my thoughts, feelings, questions, responses, etc.  I even go as far as to play out how an entire conversation might go, went, or should have gone.  I can do this for hours if I let myself.  I am good at going into my shell and looking out at the world.  My daughter picks up on this though and life needs to change.  I realize how I can sit in silence and be content self-exploring but I have been realizing how much this limits my interactions with the world.  My daughter is not learning to talk because of my behavior.  I don't know how to let go and "be a kid"  I can't even figure out how to "play" with my daughter.  I want to... but part of me realizes I better at avoiding things too.  That's my best coping mechanism...AVOIDANCE.  I have perfected the art.  It's so unfortunate to realize this then move away from those that might help me work on it.  I was seeing an awesome therapist in Utah.  I realize I long for that real self-exploration.  That hard work that helps me move outside of my comfort zone with confidence in myself.  My mom wants me to be confident and I know she would be sad hearing about my lack thereof.  My parents taught me to work hard... a great lesson... one I use too well.  I work hard but don't know how to play hard.  I don't know how to enjoy being a stay at home mom.  I miss working at my internship and helping others.  That is where I feel like I shine.  I feel like that is my lot in life but maybe that's because it's easy.  At home, with my daughter, I have to work.  I have to force myself out of my depressive state.  I have to force myself to talk LOL.  I have to learn to play.  For those that love being stay at home moms, God blessed you with that amazing gift.  For those who don't, I get it.  It's a challenge.  I have a desire to want to stay home, don't get me wrong.  I LOVE my daughter more than life itself.  I love her personality (She's luckily her daddy's girl - a go-getter!!!).  She is determined, smart, funny, a tease, strong (she will fight to the death... ask those three nurses holding her down for her cath...), perceptive, friendly, ... I could go on and on.  She is AMAZING.  I know God gave her to me to help me.  I hope I can find a way to do the work while still keeping a part of me (somedays I feel like I might go insane... it hasn't happened yet though, I don't think ;D).  I hope to be able to find a balance being a mom and a counselor.  I hope I can work again after I graduate, take the NCE, and apply for my license.  I hope I won't also feel so conflicted.  I hope that while God is helping me stretch and grow, he also helps me feel safe and comfortable.  I am so blessed that Jason is my husband.  I love how he gets me.  He doesn't think I'm (too) crazy.  He lets me have breakdowns (I've had my share ... most since having Josslyn... giving birth and raising a child sure changed me :( ... wish it hadn't, I miss the old Karlie).  He helps me work through my constant thoughts.  I definitely miss dates.  We were too spoiled before Josslyn... (note to others, 8 years might be too long to wait to have kids... getting to know each other is a must but we were too comfortable in our routine... so Josslyn really through a wrench in that.  Luckily, we still have each other and are working together to adapt).  Thanks babe for putting up with me lately.  I hope to get back to a place where I am more complete and happy with my life.  Josslyn's hugs put me in that place... hopefully, I'll find a way to bottle up that feeling and drink it when all the other "fits hit the shan" ... for now... it's off to get the waking toddler... Naps time goes by so fast

I am so excited...

I just signed up for my final class for my graduate degree. Class starts on January 9th and goes for 10 weeks. After those 10 weeks, I will receive my Master's of Science in Mental Health Counseling!!! I can't believe it's finally here. It's been three years since I signed up for that first course. It's longer than I expected but I moved to three different states and had a baby during those three years so I'm giving myself a break ;D I really just want to take some time to relish in my success and be proud of what I've accomplished!

I do hope to study for and take the NCE (National Counselor Examination) this quarter as well though. After I pass the exam and graduate, I can apply for licensure as an associate mental health therapist in Washington. Then per Washington statute, I have to be supervised for another 3,500 hours before I can be fully licensed as a Mental Health Therapist. Those are the next exciting days to look toward!