20 Weeks!!!!

I am half way there!!!!!  YAY!  I am feeling so much better now... and I am very grateful for that.  I can't recall the day it happened but all the sudden I could wake up without feeling like I was going to throw up.  It has been one of the greatest feelings.  Since the sickness has left, I have also noticed that I am not as tired either.  I still have to eat constantly... especially in the morning or I get nauseous but I can deal with that.

I became overwhelmed with all the appointments, work, school, etc so I stopped seeing my therapist.  I think I have worked through a lot of the main stressors and I definitely am feeling better.  I am sure I will have to go back again but with everything on my plate, it is just too much right now.  I have quite a few books to read that will help too.  Right now, (as time allows) I am reading Growing Up Again... Parenting Ourselves, Parenting Our Children.  It is a helpful guide to learning how to be as best a parent as possible. 

I still notice a lot of hormonal issues... irritated, ornery, depressed, etc.  I am trying to learn when the hormones are a problem in order to find ways to relax or reduce the symptoms.  Jason and me are on edge a lot and I feel bad about not being able to communicate as effectively as we normally do.  He understands that a lot of it has to do with the pregnancy but it is still hard for him since I am so different than normal.  It makes me upset too because I know I am different but I can't seem to help it.  That is the worst feeling... I want to be what Jason refers to as "my sweet wife" but my brain doesn't let me.  That's still one of the most frustrating parts of this all.  It stinks because I always wanted at least two kids but with all these symptoms Jason and me often think maybe SLIK will be an only child... 

On March 3, we went to St. Mark's Fetal Medicine for the midtrimester screening.  When we arrived for the appointment, the receptionist informed us St. Mark's does not take the insurance we have.  AHHHHHH!!!!  I had a little melt down but Jason said it would be okay.  I found out we need to go to IHC hospitals so I called up and made another appointment for the screening.  The new hospital in Murray didn't have an opening until the 17th, which stressed me out but luckily LDS had an appointment for the 10th.  On the 10th, we went to the appointment and they completed all the measurements.  They said everything looked good.  They couldn't see 100% the gender but they agreed that is was most likely a girl.  I didn't doubt fetal fotos determination anyway so I am sticking to that!  I have an appointment with my ob on the 16th so he can check it out then too.

I am more and more aware of my body and the changes.  I don't like everything that is going on and it is hard to get used to the belly.  I keep worrying if I am bigger than I should be.  It's frustrating because I never thought I was one to obsess over my body size but this pregnancy has shown me otherwise.  Jason is so amazing.  He tells me I have to grow so the baby can grow but it's such a hard adjustment for me.  It makes me feel selfish too.  I guess I will just be one of those people that does not think pregnancy is flattering. LOL.

SLIK moves around so much more now.  Jason got to feel SLIK move on February 28th!!!!  I was excited he could actually feel it finally.  He was pretty surprised.  I guess she is pretty fiesty cuz I told her kick dad for me and she kicked so hard :)  She sits pretty low and I notice I have to go to the bathroom more LOL.  All my organs have shifted upward and I have been experiencing a pressure pain near my ribs.  It interferes with my sleep because it makes it more difficult to find a comfortable position.  I didn't think I would experience this yet since I'm only 4 1/2 months but oh well.