Introvert versus Extrovert

I've been reading this book called 'Raising Your Spirited Child' to help me with lil J's energetic personality! The book has been awesome because it describes my wild child perfectly. Interestingly, it has also helped me understand me and how I respond as a parent as well. One of the most intriguing parts for me has been describing where we get our energy.
Here are the lists ... Read through and mark off which ones describe you!

-want to talk with someone at the end of a busy day
-have an immediate answer for a question
-want to invite friends over on a Friday night
-are comfortable repeating something already said by someone else
-need and like to hear that others love you and like your work
-start to invite a few friends for dinner and realize you've invited the entire neighborhood
-find yourself telling introverts to get out of their room and call some friends
-solve problems by talking through the solutions with someone
-feel comfortably initiating a conversation
-call for the babysitter
-are comfortable revealing personal things about yourself
-frequently leave parties chastising yourself for talking too much and not listening
-enjoy and need to interact with other people and feel exhausted when you have spent too much time alone or only with young children
-immediately share a new idea or experience with someone and find joy and energy in the telling


-sit down with the newspaper or zone out in front of the television after a hard day
-will do anything, even clean the toilets, if someone else will agree to call the sitter
-can't imagine wanting to invite a group over on Friday night
-find being in a large group for an extended period of time exhausting
-share personal information only with those who are very close to you. It may not be unusual for a long-term friend to exclaim, 'I never knew that about you!'
-think before answering a question, often berating yourself for not sharing an answer you knew
-frequently have extroverts ask you the same question twice because thy interpret your pause to think as ignorance of the question
-prefer dinner with the family or one special friend, rather than with the whole neighborhood
-find yourself hiding in the bathroom or back bedroom at large family gatherings
-solve a problem by thinking it through yourself before ever talking about it with anyone else
-get tired of telling extroverts what a wonderful job they're doing or how much you love and appreciate them

Now count up your totals in each group. The top group is extrovert and the bottom is introvert (if you didn't get that lol).

Okay so my hubby is (obviously) an introvert! I ALWAYS thought I was too; however, after reading the criteria I actually have more extrovert tendencies. It's like 5 to 4 :) so I seem to be both in a sense but more extrovert. Everyone is unique in how they refill their energy supply, of course. But without ever really exploring this in depth I just assumed I need alone time. Now with lil J depleting my energy very quickly I have realized time alone isn't refueling my tank. I appear to gain energy from
outside sources. I love to share stories with others, hear about others experiences, talk through my problems to come up with a solution, invite others over, talk to others at the end of a busy day, and I definitely need and like to hear that others love me and like my work. I realize as soon as I am comfortable with others I become a kind of motor mouth. I tend to need time to warm up to new experiences, which has led others and me to believe that I am an introvert. However, this is just not true. I am 'slow to adapt' but still definitely an extrovert. I think this is why I am also such a great listener. I love to gain energy from others so hearing someone tell me stories or discuss something with me still fuels my tank!!! But I have to have others around to do that. I just can't sit at home all day everyday and feel happy/filled. I love how I feel after interacting with others. I get revived and definitely feel energetic. Honestly, I don't know why I never noticed or realize this before. It seems a little silly now that I look back and think about times I am happy or enjoying myself. People are ALWAYS part of the equation. I am excited to finally realize this and hope to find some ways to adapt so that I can refuel my tank daily.

You thought I was done, right?! Nope!

Now for the frustrating acknowledgement...

My sweet, wild lil J is 100% her father's daughter. She is also an introvert from what I can tell. :/ She needs down/alone time. Despite all her energy, she gets overwhelmed with lots of activities or people around. I will be diligently watching to see if this is from her spirited traits like being slow to adapt or keenly aware of sensations (noise, light, smells, textures, and changes in moods). I'm hoping that no matter what is causing it, we will be able to adapt together (and quickly... for both our sanity!)

Until next time... Progression not perfection is our goal!